


im not stardust im shaky hands & nosebleeds

by alcitrant



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Crying, Cuddles, Kisses, M/M, Muke - Freeform, Sad, breakdown - Freeform, michael being supportive, pretty fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 16:29:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3775516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alcitrant/pseuds/alcitrant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But Michael knew his boyfriend, knew that there were always things Luke was too used to not admitting. Knew that he always pushed people out so he could sink in his own hole, trying to survive with someone standing too far away from him. Trying to get familiar without the use of a raft to keep him above water.</p>
            </blockquote>





	im not stardust im shaky hands & nosebleeds

Michael always had intuitions, superstitions and feelings, or whatever the fuck people called them nowadays for people in his life that always seemed a little too spot on. He knew when his dad maybe had a bad customer that day, based on the crisp cracking of a beer bottle being opened that Michael could hear from the foot of the stairs, or how he knew his best friend scored a goal in his football game by the way his eyes crinkled a little bit more than they usually did for a couple days after it happened. So when the shrill slam of a door and the soft pad of Converse up the stairs to his room guided Michael to think of Luke, it just made sense to him.

"Lukey?" Michael called softly from the paused video game screen, reflecting light into his eyes, making them glimmer even greener. From his bed he saw a broad set of shoulders and a flat head of floppy blonde hair make its way through Michael's open door, the height of the boy almost hitting the top of the frame. "Hey, babe," Luke sighed. He looked worn out and anxious, two things Michael hoped no one, especially Luke, would ever feel to an extreme - he knew from experience. "Yeah. It's me."

Luke sounded decent at least, Michael was sure of it, until he saw his boyfriend's face. It was subtlety unusual, he saw, not as bright and definitely not as thoughtful as it normally was. There was something in his eyes that made Michael worry for him. After a few seconds of unspoken observation and Luke not moving from his spot at the door, Michael broke the silence gently, "You feeling okay? You seem a little bit off, yeah?"

Luke did look a little exhausted but continued with that stubborn streak he always held, something Michael admired and Luke wasn't always proud of. Luke knew he could crack one day into an abyss, dragging everyone around him into the mess that was _him_ (he didn't want to ever put that stress on someone else besides himself). So, focusing on the latter, he stuck with his usual - smiling and lying through gritted teeth, "Of course I'm feeling okay, why wouldn't I be?"

But Michael knew his boyfriend, knew that there were always things Luke was too used to not admitting. Knew that he always pushed people out so he could sink in his own hole, trying to survive with someone standing too far away from him. Trying to get familiar without the use of a raft to keep him above water. And with the way Michael looked at Luke, unsure nonetheless, something in Luke's face surfaced, and within seconds tears were covering his smooth cheeks.

Immediately Michael tossed his xbox controller across the room and stood up, burying Luke's face into his neck and pulling him down by his arms onto Michael's bed. Intertwining their hands, he swiftly pulled Luke into his chest, burying his nose in his hair and making soft shushing noises over and over. Michael let his hands run under Luke's shirt, over the warm-skinned curve of Luke's back, trying to soothe whatever dam was breaking down inside of his boyfriend's chest.

Luke clung to Michael like it was the last chance he would ever see him. Knuckle deep, attached to the front of Michael's shirt, he sobbed until his throat went raw and there was absolutely no space between the boys' bodies.

"Luke." Michael was struggling with this. In what Michael can recall, this hasn't happened _once_ in the past five or so years that he's even known Luke. Even before they were dating. Even when he hated he kid (but let's be god damn honest, did he really ever hate him?). Michael was just as nervous as he sounded, "Tell me what's wrong, hm?" Luke continued his cries, wetting Michael's shirt with each passing second.

"Just wanna help, you know. Help you feel okay." Michael was trying really hard not to get choked up himself at the image of his boy, his strong, sweet boy, completely lose his shit like this and so suddenly too.

Michael was patient and let Luke take the time he needed to catch his breath, and wiped the tears from his face while Luke did so. Finally he sucked in a breath. "I just have really bad days sometimes, you know?" He stuttered. "But like really bad ones, like when I'm too embarrassed to do normal things. I get so fucking worried sometimes, like what people think of me and stuff? I could barely even walk the streets today. Don't know really. Maybe just needed a good cry."

Michael thought about that for a second, and nodded, wrapping his hands around the base of Luke's neck. Pressing his lips to his boyfriend's ear before placing them back to their prior position in Luke's hair, he urged him, "Go on."

Luke swallowed and continued after a few seconds, "I don't know, it's hard to stay the tough one sometimes when everyone comes to you with their issues. I have my own shit that I don't always deal with. Like, stuff that I don't put into the open. Guess that's what I get for being a stubborn ass." He laughed, but Michael didn't really find it as funny.

Michael saw right through to Luke. He knew that Luke wanted to be the baby for once, wanted to crawl into someone's arms and shield himself from the happenings around him that were making him worse. He didn't want to trudge through all the mud and have to clean up his shoes by himself, no, he wanted a sled for someone to drag him along through it. Someone to build a fire afterwards and tuck him in. Luke couldn't clean up his own messes anymore. Running his fingers over the younger boy's cheek, Michael swallowed. He would be the strong one. He would hold Luke together even if it broke his own pieces.

"You know you don't have to be so closed in," he whispered. "You aren't weak for having emotions. Fuck, I mean.. Look at me, I'm living proof you can cry everyday and still be punk rock." Luke's lips sunk into a small and quiet smile, eyes still red rimmed and nose still dripping. Michael still found him to be captivating.

"You think I like to see you so stubborn? No one does. Cal doesn't, I know for a fact that Ashton doesn't. _No one_ does, really." Luke looked a little lost for words after this. He's not particularly fond of people telling him what he is and isn't. But it's Michael he's talking to, fucking Michael. His best friend. The absolute sunshine in his life, and yes, he thinks he deserves the right to be cheesy about this. He loves Michael. Michael keeps him moving, provides him a home. Michael is the grace Luke will always come back to.

Michael gripped the hand on the back of Luke's neck harder and let his other hand fall to the softness of the boy's waist, locking their eyes in a gaze that was too hard to escape from (not that Luke ever wanting to stop looking into Michael's eyes).

"You gotta let your guard down sometimes, okay?" He spoke so quietly Luke could barely hear his words. He liked it. It made him feel like they were the only two people in the world.

"You're more than just some kid. You're smart and kind and hell, so talented that sometimes even I get a little jealous," Michael chuckled, and then got serious again. "You need to keep your head up. You're so bright Luke, oh my god you shine from across the room. Don't let that darken. Don't push that down. You're incredible and beautiful and lanky and goofy and a complete dork. And I love you, God, Luke," Michael paused to stop his rambling, smile dropping and eyes softening, "I love you."

Touching his nose with Luke's, he stared almost cross eyed into the blue ones in front of him and if this is what being in love feels like then Michael almost wants to drown in it.

He smirked, "And you're pretty hot as well."

Luke broke into a full out grin and looked down from Michael's eyes, cheeks flushing. He bathed golden in the light from Michael's window. "You're a fucking savior."

And with that he placed his hand on Michael's chest and positioned his lips between the boy's centimeters away from him and they kissed until Luke didn't know why he was upset in the first place. Michael figured gratitude didn't always have to be spoken.

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo, this is my very first post on here and I really enjoy writing these :-) hope you enjoyed.


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